Supreme leader produces pure TV Valium on The One Show : The Guardian

Theresa and Philip May take a seat on the green sofa to share ‘strong and stable’ anecdotes about life on the home front.

Behind every successful supreme leader there’s a very rich successful investment banker. Or, for their joint appearance on The One Show, beside her. Philip looked relatively happy to be on the sofa chatting to Matt Baker and Alex Jones. Theresa could hardly have appeared more awkward if she tried.

Baker broke the ice with a gentle loosener. How hard was it being the husband of the supreme leader? Here was Philip’s moment to reveal all. To say it was a complete misery spending hour after hour with a woman whose only conversation was ‘strong and stable’. Instead he chose to remain loyal. “There’s give and take,” he said. “I get to choose when to put the bins out.” Philip is clearly a man whose sense of humour doesn’t get many chances to shine.

“There are boys jobs and girls jobs,” simpered Theresa. Immediately we were right back in a 1960s chat show. A world where men were boys and women were girls. She didn’t specify what the girls’ jobs were. Other than being supreme leader.

Jones then asked about why the supreme leader had changed her mind on her walking holiday in Wales about holding an election. Theresa couldn’t really come out and say, “What would you have done if you found yourself 20 points ahead in the polls?” so she muttered something about doing the country a favour. “What was the drive back to London like?” asked Baker. The supreme leader gave this some thought. The traffic had been quite light on the A5 all things considered but there had been a bit of a snarl up on a contraflow on the M1 outside Luton.

With the interview dying on its feet and most viewers thinking it a pity Philip wasn’t the prime minister, Baker announced he was going to stop talking about politics because he wanted to get to know the supreme leader a bit better. “Will we be leaving Eurovision?” he asked. The supreme leader was momentarily blindsided as Lynton Crosby hadn’t given her a script for this. “No,” she said eventually. “But I’m not sure how many points we will get.” She didn’t appear to be aware that it was a longstanding tradition for Britain to get next to none.

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